miserywhip: (really?)
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Whoever has the better paying job, it's only polite.
miserywhip: (can't)
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No.
miserywhip: (decisions)
Would you uproot your life and move to another city for someone that you love?


Of course, if I was able.

With the economy the way it is I'm going to stay where I have a job. But if I lost that job or could transfer. Without a doubt.
miserywhip: (Too late)
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God, there are so many things. I really don't think there's anything I want to change that badly and then I stop to consider an answer for something like this and- the floodgates open.

I wish I had seen my grandfather before his birthday, that year. I wish I had not listened to my father, gone behind his back and made a point of seeing my grandfather for February vacation. Instead I promised I'd do it for April vacation and my grandfather died in March.

Most of my biggest regrets are part of my childhood.

I wish our last conversation didn't consist of him thinking I was going to grow up to be in the porn industry. "I said photography, Grandpa." My mother tried to make me feel better by telling me that he was a perverted old man and it wasn't my fault if he didn't understand what I said. That worked until it became the last conversation I'd ever have with him.

If I could change one thing in my control though? It would be ever encouraging that one friendship. It would be ... staying through all that, no matter how many times I promised myself it wouldn't happen. I wanted to be a 'good' friend, I wanted to give a second, third, fourth chance... I never wanted to be the one to shut the door. And I wasn't.

I actually hate that more than anything. In hindsight I wish I could say I was the one that ended it. I wish I had the guts, the self-control, to say "you know what? I don't need this anymore. You need to leave me alone." But for all the letters I wrote it in, not one of them did I ever send... because I never wanted to be the hurtful person.

That was my biggest mistake through all of that, and any time I'd ever doubted it... It was proven to me all over again, when I'd least expect it.
miserywhip: (tea time)
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I'm actually in the middle of debating changing it right now - but a username generally has to be two things for me to want it. 1. It has to reflect on either me, as a whole. Or the time period for which the journal was used. and 2. it should generally be lyrics or a song title. Which means more often than not, the popular ones are taken.

I really like this one, I think it reflects on me well - I like that I found lyrics from that song to use again since it is the name of my last journal as well. I already mentioned why I was considering leaving this journal so I don't think I need to explain that again.

I was actually really surprised that this name was still open when I made this journal.
miserywhip: (Default)
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Considering I watch TV at most once a week, I don't think I even need to answer this.
miserywhip: (hair)
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The worst insult I've ever received from anyone is an insult to my intelligence.

Say whatever you want about me, but if you're going to lie to me - don't be so ignorant that I see through it. Or don't be so ignorant that even though you succeeded in fooling me, you tell me later without even realizing you just gave yourself away.



It's time for a change.
miserywhip: (tea time)
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That I'm into sci-fi series over ten years old.

I really am revisiting a very specific window of a reading period at the moment. All of my other books are away in boxes.
miserywhip: (Default)
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Normally, I don't believe in changing your past. Even hypothetically - the past is what makes the present, and without everything I went through to get here today, I wouldn't be here today, and I'm ... actually pretty happy with where I am right now.

Cut for a little TL;DR. )
miserywhip: (Default)
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..... *Cracks up*
miserywhip: (Default)
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Um. My pets. And if I was crazy and cared about this psycho setting my house on fire, I might want to help them get out too if they needed it. But honestly, if someone is setting fire to my house, I doubt they're someone I'd be close enough to, to care whether or not they survived.

I'd open the door so that Orion could get out and then go unplug the tanks to try to save them too. I would ... cry miserably over all of my lost FMA/art/etc but- if I couldn't save them (and I probably couldn't, with how long the snake would take) then I'm not going to risk my life trying.

This is a really dumb question. Someone tell me in what situation you'd save someone who intentionally burned your house down?


All right, wake tonight so I should probably sleep soon.


I might not be around for the next few days.
miserywhip: (amused)
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This is the dumbest Writer's Block ever, and I'm embarrassed to have read it and instantly thought, "My mother." I can just see Orion now, calling her going, "Grandma, when are you coming home?" Just like Denise does.

He learned from the best.

In other news. Our daily Aquarius horoscope, because I have no life. )

These things really have ... no right cracking me up, as much as they do.

And mine:

The Moon's return to your sign and her opposition with talkative Mercury are clear indicators that you will let others know exactly what you're feeling today. But your words may provoke a higher volume of emotional response than you expect. The more you try to explain yourself, the worse it could get as domineering Pluto stimulates conflict rather than understanding. Instead of changing anyone else's mind now, yours will be the only one within your sphere of influence.



... Wait, today? That basically describes my entire life. I don't know why I even open my mouth most of the time.

In other news, I think I'm going to start commenting people with my other account, again. I have paid time and 100+ icons over there until August, and these icons are fine for entries but suck for commenting. So, I might as well use the paid time I have there for something, right?
miserywhip: (Too late)
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IMing, and keeping in touch with my friends online. That's ... about it. I reduced my plan to 200 minutes this month, because it doesn't go lower than that.
miserywhip: (Even if it's all I get....)
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The Grand Canyon. I think about being there constantly... I'd kill to be able to move out there, seriously.
miserywhip: (Default)
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I'm all about animal rights and support activists trying to do the right thing, but it's a word.

My dog means more to me than most people I know, and whether I call myself his owner, guardian, parent - whatever - he's still my baby, and that's not going to change because of some word.

Spend your time, effort and money on something more important - like finding animals homes. Jesus, Christ.
miserywhip: (Icarus)
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Nothing makes me happier than rain, but it gives me crippling headaches so - it's a little strange to feel elated and so unable to move and miserable at the same time.

I'm one of those people that loves the first snow fall, and the way the night looks when it's quiet and dark, and snowing or it just snowed. I don't get all hyped up and into it like people do, because I know in a day or two I'm going to be scowling at gray slush and shoveling my weight in snow to get on with my day... I don't understand people that rant and rave about it, just to hate it in 24 hours... But I do appreciate it, quietly.

The Spring where it's warm, but still not summer - that works, too. Every year, when I go to AB, I'd commute so I'd come home to warm Spring air and just play with Orion in the street, still in costume. It was a little surreal this year to come home, and feel that same temperature and not have the con to look forward to the next day.

I've thought about moving to other places because of the climate, I'd love to go to Arizona or something. Hot with no humidity is pretty much - ideal weather for me, and I rarely get to be in it. I'm kind of realistic, though and as a realist figure I can take snow and changing climates to poisonous spiders and other threats present elsewhere. I prefer dangers that I know, thank you.

As far as warding off depression? It's never been so troubling that I couldn't work, but from November - March I have trouble writing, being social and interacting with people. I usually start to come out of it as early as January, but it's never consistent. That's usually my quiet time to withdraw into myself, which is when I get removed from games for inactivity because I just can't make myself even post one line for a character to stay off activity checks... and the damn things get more complicated in every game. So, I kind of just lay low and hope for the best. Which didn't end so well this year, I kind of went straight from November '08 to January '10 in a haze. I never really thought of it as a seasonal depression until this year, either - so now I try to be more aware of it.

I guess that's everything. Longest response to the writer's block ever. I think it's time for bed.
miserywhip: (Default)
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Some variation of put me down and feed me. From ... all of them. They hate me.


Although with Orion, it might be when my mom asks a question and I say I already did it. "That's a lie!"
miserywhip: (wait a minute...)
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I've never had this problem. So, I don't. Usually it's- other people telling me they're too clingy, while I'm sitting there wondering where they get that idea.

Or, that I'm too clingy. Which doesn't surprise me ... although- never directly, like that.


Yeah, I've never had this problem.





*Moves on*


I think I'm going back to bed.
miserywhip: (Roy: glance)
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No, and yes.


But that doesn't mean I'd be okay with him leaving her when he finds out that she has cancer, either. As relieved as I am that he left her, period.





In more awesome news.

Right. Okay.


Leaving.

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