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miserywhipI originally planned to stop posting to my journal, because I just- can not motivate myself to be here anymore. Most people on here get to see my freak outs in real time anyway, it makes Live Journal practically obsolete in my life, outside of checking up on the friends list of people I don't speak to so often.
Honestly there hasn't been much to update. I'm not really doing much outside of the usual, working and spending time online. The usual business. Only recently has anything remotely important happened in my life, and it's not a good change - so I've put off talking about it here.
For those of you that don't know, my birthday recently passed, on the 28th. I'd taken the day off and had the lamest plans in the world lined up.
I came home from work on the 27th to an empty space where my animals used to be. I'm going to keep this short and to the point, to prevent getting emotional again. I came down with a fever shortly after it happened so I don't even know how much my lacking the will to get out of bed is my body trying to recover from being sick, and how much is my brain trying to recover from being hurt like that.
Unfortunately it's taken this act of complete betrayal - and complete indifference to said betrayal - for me to realize how little I can trust my mother. When I find myself thinking, 'she'd never do....' I realize that I don't know what she's capable of anymore. When she told me it was a long time coming, all I could think was all the more reason it didn't have to happen on my fucking birthday. Needless to say we're no longer on speaking terms. I ignore her unless I have absolutely no choice, and I spend even more time in my bedroom now. I bet she didn't think that was possible... Actually, honestly- I bet she doesn't even notice.
At this point in time I'm seriously debating taking legal action with Petco for taking animals from someone that were admittedly not their's and adopting them out immediately without any record of who adopted them. Several calls to both of the local stores confirmed that policy dictates they should have done some paperwork with the person taking them, and the store that had them admittedly did not.
Right now I'm not sure how far I could actually take this, or who I could consult about the best plan of action because I know that even if they locate them I can never have them back. My main concern from this point forward is to make them regret not doing the proper paperwork, because I never want to see this happen to someone else.
I just hope they're in good hands.
http://imgur.com/a/WIKNp
Honestly there hasn't been much to update. I'm not really doing much outside of the usual, working and spending time online. The usual business. Only recently has anything remotely important happened in my life, and it's not a good change - so I've put off talking about it here.
For those of you that don't know, my birthday recently passed, on the 28th. I'd taken the day off and had the lamest plans in the world lined up.
I came home from work on the 27th to an empty space where my animals used to be. I'm going to keep this short and to the point, to prevent getting emotional again. I came down with a fever shortly after it happened so I don't even know how much my lacking the will to get out of bed is my body trying to recover from being sick, and how much is my brain trying to recover from being hurt like that.
Unfortunately it's taken this act of complete betrayal - and complete indifference to said betrayal - for me to realize how little I can trust my mother. When I find myself thinking, 'she'd never do....' I realize that I don't know what she's capable of anymore. When she told me it was a long time coming, all I could think was all the more reason it didn't have to happen on my fucking birthday. Needless to say we're no longer on speaking terms. I ignore her unless I have absolutely no choice, and I spend even more time in my bedroom now. I bet she didn't think that was possible... Actually, honestly- I bet she doesn't even notice.
At this point in time I'm seriously debating taking legal action with Petco for taking animals from someone that were admittedly not their's and adopting them out immediately without any record of who adopted them. Several calls to both of the local stores confirmed that policy dictates they should have done some paperwork with the person taking them, and the store that had them admittedly did not.
Right now I'm not sure how far I could actually take this, or who I could consult about the best plan of action because I know that even if they locate them I can never have them back. My main concern from this point forward is to make them regret not doing the proper paperwork, because I never want to see this happen to someone else.
I just hope they're in good hands.
http://imgur.com/a/WIKNp
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no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 05:12 am (UTC)So. She just felt the need to add the 27th to my list of days that make me lose the will to live? Yeah... Thanks, thanks for that. A whole lot. Really caring.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 05:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 05:53 am (UTC)This has seriously made me stop to re-evaluate things. I'm literally in a situation right now where I can not predict anything anyone in my family is capable of. I'm borderline afraid for my life, because my entire family seems incapable of remorse. Like, she did that- what the fuck is next?
I've spent my entire life telling myself she's a good person, she'd never do a, b or c. So for her to do one of the things I've brainwashed myself into believing she'd never do, I .... don't know where the fuck the line is anymore.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-23 05:51 am (UTC)It's not something I would have been able to do myself, but they're probably taken care of better where they are now. Knowing that they could be happier- that's more important to me than anything else.
Which isn't to say I forgive her actions, but it's easier to live with them.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-24 03:52 am (UTC)And my mother's stranglehold on the snake's feeding, by constanty putting his feeding box where I couldn't get it, fighting me when I wanted it and telling me I could not feed him after I had a mouse thawing 12 hours- which wasted a mouse, every time. He simply wasn't being fed enough.
Driving to the store to get crickets for Kip was another struggle.
They deserve to be somewhere without these limitations. That's really all there is to it.