Writer's Block: Redo
Aug. 31st, 2010 12:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miserywhip[Error: unknown template qotd]
Normally, I don't believe in changing your past. Even hypothetically - the past is what makes the present, and without everything I went through to get here today, I wouldn't be here today, and I'm ... actually pretty happy with where I am right now.
I could say I'd never cave to high school peer pressure, and get into a relationship I wasn't ready for - but despite the hard times, that relationship made me happy ... so it's not really true.
I could say that I'd not listen to my mother and go to the college I wanted to go to, that I got accepted to, and then I'd know whether or not I would have ever made it. And then I'd have college experience.
Realistically, though. All I really want to say is that I wouldn't let someone be the exception to my rules. I've thought about this, I really have - and I know that if my life hadn't gone the way it had, I wouldn't have needed Purg as much as I did, I wouldn't have attached to Crow the way I did, become social in chat, and eventually come to have Sam in my life. Which are all things I would never give up for the world.
But, if I could go back and change one thing? It would be fooling myself, the way I did two years ago. If I could go back in time to July of 2008, I would have done all of that different.
Honestly, if I had any choice at all I'd handle the way I acted in the first Blockbuster I worked at differently. I would have done what I could to keep it open instead of doing what I could to get what I wanted out of it, before it closed. But, my actions alone wouldn't have saved my store - so there's really no point in even entertaining that idea. If I could change one thing, it would be something that I had the power to control.
Normally, I don't believe in changing your past. Even hypothetically - the past is what makes the present, and without everything I went through to get here today, I wouldn't be here today, and I'm ... actually pretty happy with where I am right now.
I could say I'd never cave to high school peer pressure, and get into a relationship I wasn't ready for - but despite the hard times, that relationship made me happy ... so it's not really true.
I could say that I'd not listen to my mother and go to the college I wanted to go to, that I got accepted to, and then I'd know whether or not I would have ever made it. And then I'd have college experience.
Realistically, though. All I really want to say is that I wouldn't let someone be the exception to my rules. I've thought about this, I really have - and I know that if my life hadn't gone the way it had, I wouldn't have needed Purg as much as I did, I wouldn't have attached to Crow the way I did, become social in chat, and eventually come to have Sam in my life. Which are all things I would never give up for the world.
But, if I could go back and change one thing? It would be fooling myself, the way I did two years ago. If I could go back in time to July of 2008, I would have done all of that different.
Honestly, if I had any choice at all I'd handle the way I acted in the first Blockbuster I worked at differently. I would have done what I could to keep it open instead of doing what I could to get what I wanted out of it, before it closed. But, my actions alone wouldn't have saved my store - so there's really no point in even entertaining that idea. If I could change one thing, it would be something that I had the power to control.
